i have a very small circle of friends - whom i rarely see because i prefer to stay home, close to the fireplace, and the stove on which i feel comfortable making hot cocoa, and my daughter and all her familiar toys and all her familar dangers.
i know (on a purely intellectual level) that it wouldn't hurt me - at all - to get out more, to do things, to have a good time with grownups.
but you know what? it doesn't hurt me - at all - to have friends come 'round, and do things, and have a good time with grownups, and my daughter.
i find myself, from time to time, feeling the pressure of external guilt that i don't want to do any of the 'fun' stuff that i used to.
i find myself feeling like i'm supposed to wish that i felt like going out for a drink, or to see a movie
or out for a nice meal. like i'm less a person because these things don't hold the charm for me that hot dogs and bathtime with the baby do.(though i haven't ever really liked going OUT
to see movies because the big
screen and loud LOUD speakers and throngs of
strangers and even, yes even the
popcorn haven't nearly as much appeal as
being able to use the toilet without
interrupting a slew of strangers and
missing the best part (because it's ALWAYS
the best part) because of my
walnut sized bladder),
but i like my little world.
and until i'm pulled out of it like an unfortunate hermit crab, i'm going to stay for a while.
you're welcome to visit!
1 comment:
I feel much the same way...only for reasons that entail having three children (one of which is into everything imaginable and the comfort of being able to send them to their rooms when they inevitably get bored is SO nice): i.e. You are welcome to visit!
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