my daughter (19 months old) is learning to sing "jingle bells"
not the whole song, just the chorus part
so far she sings:
jinnn ball
jinnn ball
hhnnn hnnn hnnn waayeee
hnn hnn fun
hn hnn to ride
hnn hnn hnn hnn slayeee
hey!
ridiculous, yes, but i find it deliciously adorable
30 November 2005
front porch versus office
it's not exactly godzilla versus mothra, but the principle is the same
take two exceptionally un-alike and unlikely things and face them off in head to head battle until one "wins" and the other runs away to fight again the next time the wind shifts
as unlikely as it might seem, Monday night was a balmy 60 some degrees here in (arctic) Michigan. my husband and i denuded the front porch of every last vestige of the halloween and strung up the pre-lit garlands my mother and i made last year. we would have put up the beautiful pre-lit wreathes mom and i made too - if only mom and i had made them... it was a year of not-enough-time.
my office is always a balmy 60 some degrees (unless i keep the door closed for something around an hour and a half, in which case it jumps up to a tropical 70 - 75 degrees and NEVER a smidgen higher) and i have yet to do anything more than four paper snowflakes and a tree skirt cum flannel baby blanket around the bottom of the tree. (more on that later)
porch - 1
office - 0.5
tonight (possibly) my husband and i will be excavating the old (flea-bitten) fake tree that was never pre-lit, but had enough painful hours spent on lighting it that we never bothered taking it apart, but relegated it, fully assembled and strung, to the basement for storage, and moving it up to the front porch for even more decor. more, we may even be pulling up the log-made snowfolk as well (i'll try to bring in and post a photo of that one...)
porch - 2
i meant to decorate my office tree and window today. i left the string of happy-go-pukey colored lights at home in a bag somewhere so i can't put them on the tree, and without the lights on first, all the rest of the decorating would be ridiculous. i can't hang the pretty little white/silver-gold/pearl ball ornaments, because bonehead that i am, i never got any fishing line (or even ribbon) , and think they would look stupid hanging from sewing thread taped to the wall.
office - 0.5 *still
tomorrow will be a better day, i'm sure. AND if i can find my cute little fake-limbed wreath, i might just be able to even the score.
take two exceptionally un-alike and unlikely things and face them off in head to head battle until one "wins" and the other runs away to fight again the next time the wind shifts
as unlikely as it might seem, Monday night was a balmy 60 some degrees here in (arctic) Michigan. my husband and i denuded the front porch of every last vestige of the halloween and strung up the pre-lit garlands my mother and i made last year. we would have put up the beautiful pre-lit wreathes mom and i made too - if only mom and i had made them... it was a year of not-enough-time.
my office is always a balmy 60 some degrees (unless i keep the door closed for something around an hour and a half, in which case it jumps up to a tropical 70 - 75 degrees and NEVER a smidgen higher) and i have yet to do anything more than four paper snowflakes and a tree skirt cum flannel baby blanket around the bottom of the tree. (more on that later)
porch - 1
office - 0.5
tonight (possibly) my husband and i will be excavating the old (flea-bitten) fake tree that was never pre-lit, but had enough painful hours spent on lighting it that we never bothered taking it apart, but relegated it, fully assembled and strung, to the basement for storage, and moving it up to the front porch for even more decor. more, we may even be pulling up the log-made snowfolk as well (i'll try to bring in and post a photo of that one...)
porch - 2
i meant to decorate my office tree and window today. i left the string of happy-go-pukey colored lights at home in a bag somewhere so i can't put them on the tree, and without the lights on first, all the rest of the decorating would be ridiculous. i can't hang the pretty little white/silver-gold/pearl ball ornaments, because bonehead that i am, i never got any fishing line (or even ribbon) , and think they would look stupid hanging from sewing thread taped to the wall.
office - 0.5 *still
tomorrow will be a better day, i'm sure. AND if i can find my cute little fake-limbed wreath, i might just be able to even the score.
29 November 2005
shadowlands...
once upon a time I thought it would be interesting to be dramatic
most of my wardrobe consisted of costumes:
- the lumber-jack get up of jeans, t-shirt, and flannel overshirt
- the equestrian gear of form fit khakis, white blouse, and mostly cutaway jacket (and vest)
- the croquet wear
- even the "business woman" in navy blue suiting
most of my friends were dramatic, occasionally even suffering some grandly engineered (usually self inflicted) tragedy
half of what i said was as much a line as a spontaneous (and heaven forbid!) light-hearted remark
i even developed a somewhat mysterious persona of a single girl, living alone, and seldom (if ever) letting the various lives i lived (daughter, friend, co-worker, girl at bar/dance club) meet each other for fear of the various other characters of those lives get to know too much about me
. . . . . . .
i'm not sure when or how or why that stopped seeming like me. honestly, if it weren't for the fact that i'm so keenly aware of the serious difference between who i am now and the me above, i almost wouldn't believe the change happened.
i think it started when i stopped living alone... moving in with a friend, and his friends can put a serious kink in being "all lonesome and pondersome and mysterious".
and i KNOW that there's no way to be dour and serious and brooding and "poetic" around my daughter... she's an absolutely 100% contagious source of light and joy and humor.
as for my dramatic friends... for the most part my friends have grown up too... realising that there is enough REAL drama in a normal life - enough heart-ache and loneliness (the kind you not only can't imitate but would never EVER want to) - that there's no real need to manufacture it.
i think the costume clothes went away mostly as my middle age spread started spreading up from my thighs into my hips and stomach... it's hard to look really good in costumes unless you look really good in nothing.
. . . . . . . . . .
i'm glad to have had those days. they were good old days of let's pretend, and i was fortunate enough to be able to drag them into the cusp of my 30's (a luxury many folks won't or can't afford themselves). i've always believed that having a good imagination and the room to play with it is elemental in being a well rounded, firmly grounded sort of person with the ability to distinguish between make believe and what really matters.
i'm glad, too, that they're behind me. i like the idea of the future that's laid out in front of me. the fun and the joy that i have yet to enjoy with my daughter as she grows and plays is a very rewarding prospect - and definitely worth the real drama that comes with a real life.
most of my wardrobe consisted of costumes:
- the lumber-jack get up of jeans, t-shirt, and flannel overshirt
- the equestrian gear of form fit khakis, white blouse, and mostly cutaway jacket (and vest)
- the croquet wear
- even the "business woman" in navy blue suiting
most of my friends were dramatic, occasionally even suffering some grandly engineered (usually self inflicted) tragedy
half of what i said was as much a line as a spontaneous (and heaven forbid!) light-hearted remark
i even developed a somewhat mysterious persona of a single girl, living alone, and seldom (if ever) letting the various lives i lived (daughter, friend, co-worker, girl at bar/dance club) meet each other for fear of the various other characters of those lives get to know too much about me
. . . . . . .
i'm not sure when or how or why that stopped seeming like me. honestly, if it weren't for the fact that i'm so keenly aware of the serious difference between who i am now and the me above, i almost wouldn't believe the change happened.
i think it started when i stopped living alone... moving in with a friend, and his friends can put a serious kink in being "all lonesome and pondersome and mysterious".
and i KNOW that there's no way to be dour and serious and brooding and "poetic" around my daughter... she's an absolutely 100% contagious source of light and joy and humor.
as for my dramatic friends... for the most part my friends have grown up too... realising that there is enough REAL drama in a normal life - enough heart-ache and loneliness (the kind you not only can't imitate but would never EVER want to) - that there's no real need to manufacture it.
i think the costume clothes went away mostly as my middle age spread started spreading up from my thighs into my hips and stomach... it's hard to look really good in costumes unless you look really good in nothing.
. . . . . . . . . .
i'm glad to have had those days. they were good old days of let's pretend, and i was fortunate enough to be able to drag them into the cusp of my 30's (a luxury many folks won't or can't afford themselves). i've always believed that having a good imagination and the room to play with it is elemental in being a well rounded, firmly grounded sort of person with the ability to distinguish between make believe and what really matters.
i'm glad, too, that they're behind me. i like the idea of the future that's laid out in front of me. the fun and the joy that i have yet to enjoy with my daughter as she grows and plays is a very rewarding prospect - and definitely worth the real drama that comes with a real life.
28 November 2005
tree (and other holiday decor) update
what i'm up to
in an effort to dispel any rumors that i am not a holiday (in particular Christmas) person, i have brought in the tinsel and snowman heads for my halloween tree... what's more, i've realised that a little tinsel and a few snowman heads are NOT going to do it for getting me into the spirit of the season when i spend eightandahalf hours in a putty cell, so i've decided that sometime this week (though not this afternoon/evening - more on that later) i have to go to the store to get something to make a tree skirt, some CHRISTMAS colored lights (as opposed to just the orange ones) and a few more ornaments, as well as some little bits for my Secret Santa recipient (almost wrote receivee - ugh!) and something to decorate the window of my office (my secret wish would be to have curtains and lights and make it look like a real window, but probably i'll settle for some lights and possibly some ornaments)...
why i can't go out this afternoon/evening
friday our friend C (K's honey) came by to drop off some stuff for my husband. he rather pointedly noted that boogety-boo, the home version of the halloween tree, and several other halloweeney elements are still adorning the front porch. yes, I know, UGH, but honestly, when it's a matter of choosing between dehalloweening the porch or splitting more wood to ensure more fireplace fun through the rest of the winter, 9.9 times out of ten i'm going to choose the latter.
unfortunately, without serious recostuming (and a new head) there's no way i'm going to be able to christmasify the front porch as it stands (not to mention my mom would skin me before she'd allow all that stuff to stay out there...) so...
because the forecast says today is going to peak at about 60 degrees (and tomorrow is going to peak sometime after midnight at about 40) this afternoon is going to be a crunch session in removing halloween and installing christmas (garlands, wreaths, and possibly the old xmas tree) on the porch before the evil cold comes calling.
woo hoo!
in an effort to dispel any rumors that i am not a holiday (in particular Christmas) person, i have brought in the tinsel and snowman heads for my halloween tree... what's more, i've realised that a little tinsel and a few snowman heads are NOT going to do it for getting me into the spirit of the season when i spend eightandahalf hours in a putty cell, so i've decided that sometime this week (though not this afternoon/evening - more on that later) i have to go to the store to get something to make a tree skirt, some CHRISTMAS colored lights (as opposed to just the orange ones) and a few more ornaments, as well as some little bits for my Secret Santa recipient (almost wrote receivee - ugh!) and something to decorate the window of my office (my secret wish would be to have curtains and lights and make it look like a real window, but probably i'll settle for some lights and possibly some ornaments)...
why i can't go out this afternoon/evening
friday our friend C (K's honey) came by to drop off some stuff for my husband. he rather pointedly noted that boogety-boo, the home version of the halloween tree, and several other halloweeney elements are still adorning the front porch. yes, I know, UGH, but honestly, when it's a matter of choosing between dehalloweening the porch or splitting more wood to ensure more fireplace fun through the rest of the winter, 9.9 times out of ten i'm going to choose the latter.
unfortunately, without serious recostuming (and a new head) there's no way i'm going to be able to christmasify the front porch as it stands (not to mention my mom would skin me before she'd allow all that stuff to stay out there...) so...
because the forecast says today is going to peak at about 60 degrees (and tomorrow is going to peak sometime after midnight at about 40) this afternoon is going to be a crunch session in removing halloween and installing christmas (garlands, wreaths, and possibly the old xmas tree) on the porch before the evil cold comes calling.
woo hoo!
the usual - but different
every year, without fail, the holidays arrive on the tails of an illness, or instigate one. this Thanksgiving is no different. i have developed a cough. it's still just a little cough, but i can definitely feel the little buggers multiplying.
i don't think it was because of too many people who don't wash their hands, however, this year, as my holiday was Very tight family only. an 18.5 pound bird goes a long way to stuffing 4 adults and a baby.
it could be some of the stress of the holiday... and the fact that (as much as i denied it) i allowed the volume of food i was preparing to stress me out.
it could be from the fatigue of more than two weeks of sleepless nights and ugly dreams
it could be (my mother would definitely pin it here) the wet and cold of splitting wood on Sunday
regardless, i have the cough
i don't think it was because of too many people who don't wash their hands, however, this year, as my holiday was Very tight family only. an 18.5 pound bird goes a long way to stuffing 4 adults and a baby.
it could be some of the stress of the holiday... and the fact that (as much as i denied it) i allowed the volume of food i was preparing to stress me out.
it could be from the fatigue of more than two weeks of sleepless nights and ugly dreams
it could be (my mother would definitely pin it here) the wet and cold of splitting wood on Sunday
regardless, i have the cough
23 November 2005
followup on the sorting hat
My husband reads my posts - gotta love it. He recently read the one about the sorting hat and informed me of the following (his comments first, the secondary parenthetical information comes from the Akashic Record)
Each of the Houses at Hogwarts are representative of certain virtues:
Gryffindor is Bravery (and Leadership)
Hufflepuff is Compasion (Hard Work, Goodness, and Self Sacrifice)
Slytherin is Cleverness (and Determination)
Ravenclaw is Wisdom (and Friendship)
I feel much better... though also strangely compelled to strive to be wiser and more friendly.
Each of the Houses at Hogwarts are representative of certain virtues:
Gryffindor is Bravery (and Leadership)
Hufflepuff is Compasion (Hard Work, Goodness, and Self Sacrifice)
Slytherin is Cleverness (and Determination)
Ravenclaw is Wisdom (and Friendship)
I feel much better... though also strangely compelled to strive to be wiser and more friendly.
the flakes are coming
the weather forecast says snow! starting today, running through the night and tomorrow!
yes, i'm that excited!!!
and it's not just because it's the first snow of the year... i really like snow. i'm not such a huge fan of the cold for the snow, but at the same time, its a necessary evil. oh, and i don't really enjoy driving in the snow - especially to and from work when the roads are populated by people who hate driving, hate snow, (hate work?) and in general seem to just be outright grumps.
it also helps that the snow is coming on/for Thanksgiving (another thing to be thankful for!) when my family and i will be safe at home, good to watch the snow fall through the big picture window at the back of the house, with a nice toasty fire roaring away in the fireplace.
yes, i'm that excited!!!
and it's not just because it's the first snow of the year... i really like snow. i'm not such a huge fan of the cold for the snow, but at the same time, its a necessary evil. oh, and i don't really enjoy driving in the snow - especially to and from work when the roads are populated by people who hate driving, hate snow, (hate work?) and in general seem to just be outright grumps.
it also helps that the snow is coming on/for Thanksgiving (another thing to be thankful for!) when my family and i will be safe at home, good to watch the snow fall through the big picture window at the back of the house, with a nice toasty fire roaring away in the fireplace.
21 November 2005
rrr
reduce reuse recycle
relax refresh renew
reexamine redefine rearrange
rather rinse repeat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
enough oblique poetry
i started with the original 3 r's because i'm lazy
my husband and i "installed" a halloween tree (black and stick-i-liscious with orange lights) in my office over a month ago. i'm fortunate enough to work with a slew of brilliantly tolerant and creative people, most of whom enjoy decorating for the holidays - ALL OF THEM - and put up with my scant, meager, ridiculous excuse for a grave yard scene - replete with black tree of twigs (doom).
i didn't want to take it down by myself. it's unwieldy at best. i know i got at least one splinter putting it up.
so, genius i am, i turned it into my thanksgiving tree. it's decorated, now, still with the orange lights and 29 little black flags, one for each day of the month so far, each bearing the date and a little something i'm thankful for.
it's populated with people i love, elements of my personality that have really helped me through some rough days, and people who possess traits that i admire, and the crazy silly little things that make life bearable enough to get through another day.
(it's been a tough year, on the tail of a tough year, on the tail of a year of extreme change - little things are EXTREMELY underrated!)
i'm continuing with the 3 r's because I love a challenge
in just over a week, i'm going to re-purpose my tree again (relying even more heavily on the creative sensibilities of my co-workers) when it sheds its leaves of gratitude and dons silvery tinsel garland (and still orange lights) and the daily additions of snowman head ornaments
i'm thinking that january can be a month of memories leading up to my birthday
february a month of things i love
march...
relax refresh renew
reexamine redefine rearrange
rather rinse repeat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
enough oblique poetry
i started with the original 3 r's because i'm lazy
my husband and i "installed" a halloween tree (black and stick-i-liscious with orange lights) in my office over a month ago. i'm fortunate enough to work with a slew of brilliantly tolerant and creative people, most of whom enjoy decorating for the holidays - ALL OF THEM - and put up with my scant, meager, ridiculous excuse for a grave yard scene - replete with black tree of twigs (doom).
i didn't want to take it down by myself. it's unwieldy at best. i know i got at least one splinter putting it up.
so, genius i am, i turned it into my thanksgiving tree. it's decorated, now, still with the orange lights and 29 little black flags, one for each day of the month so far, each bearing the date and a little something i'm thankful for.
it's populated with people i love, elements of my personality that have really helped me through some rough days, and people who possess traits that i admire, and the crazy silly little things that make life bearable enough to get through another day.
(it's been a tough year, on the tail of a tough year, on the tail of a year of extreme change - little things are EXTREMELY underrated!)
i'm continuing with the 3 r's because I love a challenge
in just over a week, i'm going to re-purpose my tree again (relying even more heavily on the creative sensibilities of my co-workers) when it sheds its leaves of gratitude and dons silvery tinsel garland (and still orange lights) and the daily additions of snowman head ornaments
i'm thinking that january can be a month of memories leading up to my birthday
february a month of things i love
march...
18 November 2005
spent
muscle - all day yesterday i couldn't figure out why my thighs were tight and sore, like i'd worked out. this morning it hit me. wednesday we had a fire drill and everyone on the floor (the 9th floor for me) had to walk down the emergency exit stairs to get to our safe place. 9 flights of stairs (even only going down) is a long way for someone unaccustomed to stairs
mental - it's been over a week since i have slept soundly through the night. my dreams are becoming more antagonistic. it's getting more difficult to focus on simple tasks at work without falling prey to just about any small distraction. and i'm sure if you asked my family they'd tell you that i'm just a little edgier than normal. i've also been absolutely FREEZING for the past week. i have a suspicion or two as to where the origins of the sleeplessness lie, and i'm working on coming to terms with these issues (not only for sleep's sake, but so that i can just have them straight in my head). i'll post an update (probably in bright circus colors) when i finally have a good night's sleep.
moral - i'm not sure if this qualifies for anything, having never read the Harry Potter slew of literature, but i took a whirl with the funky talking hat, and he told me that i should be a member of the RavenClaw house. probably he wouldn't have said that if they'd offered Cat as a pet of choice... so yeah, not sure if being a RavenClaw is indicative of any sort of moral fatigue, but if it is, it makes sense. babble babble babble
i'm going to pack up and call it a day. spend some early time with the baby and probably take a nice long nap.
mental - it's been over a week since i have slept soundly through the night. my dreams are becoming more antagonistic. it's getting more difficult to focus on simple tasks at work without falling prey to just about any small distraction. and i'm sure if you asked my family they'd tell you that i'm just a little edgier than normal. i've also been absolutely FREEZING for the past week. i have a suspicion or two as to where the origins of the sleeplessness lie, and i'm working on coming to terms with these issues (not only for sleep's sake, but so that i can just have them straight in my head). i'll post an update (probably in bright circus colors) when i finally have a good night's sleep.
moral - i'm not sure if this qualifies for anything, having never read the Harry Potter slew of literature, but i took a whirl with the funky talking hat, and he told me that i should be a member of the RavenClaw house. probably he wouldn't have said that if they'd offered Cat as a pet of choice... so yeah, not sure if being a RavenClaw is indicative of any sort of moral fatigue, but if it is, it makes sense. babble babble babble
i'm going to pack up and call it a day. spend some early time with the baby and probably take a nice long nap.
17 November 2005
call to analysis...
we had caught a baby bee and thought it would be cruel to keep it, so after only a few moments of holding it in our hands, we set it free
but the other bees hated it, flew after it, stung it mercilessly
so i followed the bees in their flight, pursuing the pursuers, and finally batted them all away from my baby bee
except now it was a small blue and red and brown bird - like a cross between a sparrow and a bluebird and a robin - and it had a broken left wing.
i tried scooping it up, but it wouldn't let me, it insisted on trying to perch on my finger, but when it realised that its wing was broken, it let me cradle it in the palm of my left hand, my right hand swatting at the small buzz of still stinging bees around me
just before i woke i was making plans on what size cage i should get for my new pet, and wondering if maybe a cage were more a prison than a home for one so very well loved
========================================
i was blogging away here and someone - a tech support someone - came into my office, shook his (or her?) head, and said "no no no, you don't want to use Trebuchet."
"why?"
"Oh, because it's too hard to read... and I don't like it."
i just laughed and woke up
but the other bees hated it, flew after it, stung it mercilessly
so i followed the bees in their flight, pursuing the pursuers, and finally batted them all away from my baby bee
except now it was a small blue and red and brown bird - like a cross between a sparrow and a bluebird and a robin - and it had a broken left wing.
i tried scooping it up, but it wouldn't let me, it insisted on trying to perch on my finger, but when it realised that its wing was broken, it let me cradle it in the palm of my left hand, my right hand swatting at the small buzz of still stinging bees around me
just before i woke i was making plans on what size cage i should get for my new pet, and wondering if maybe a cage were more a prison than a home for one so very well loved
========================================
i was blogging away here and someone - a tech support someone - came into my office, shook his (or her?) head, and said "no no no, you don't want to use Trebuchet."
"why?"
"Oh, because it's too hard to read... and I don't like it."
i just laughed and woke up
16 November 2005
behind - again
once upon a time i used to have all of my Christmas shopping done by Hallowe'en (probably another very good reason for why i like Hallowe'en so well). ok, granted, there are some gifts you just cannot purchase months in advance - Godiva chocolate covered cherries for example (for mom) - but for the most part, i have been very very good about getting nearly everything done early.
however, in recent years (i.e. since getting married and having a baby) i have been slipping farther and farther behind.
so far this year i have my in-laws done.
yep... that's it.
ok, not entirely it, it, but they're the only people I have done. and that's not really a fair measure because they put a limit on me, and really, there's not a lot you can do in the parameters they set up... so they were easy too. the rest of my family and friends, not so much...
i still have about half of my husband's gifts to go. ditto with mom and dad. i'm still debating on what to do for the baby, since i know she'll be "wallowing in spoildiferous" between her grandparents and i have already pretty much bought her everything i was "desperate" to get her (which i can afford) with the exception of some learning software... which i may well still get. as for my friends, for most of them, i don't even have a list drawn up to shop from, so i'm really up a creek. (note to anyone who reads this blog and was planning on x-mas-ing me, a paddle would really come in handy most days...) and remember how i said i was done for my in-laws, i lied. i only have my MIL done, i still have to find something for my FIL from the baby.
on an up note, this is year three or four now that over 50% of my holiday shopping has been done on line (the postal, UPS, and FedEx people HATE my household between August and the end of the year) and this year I finally wised up and am shopping as much as is humanly possible through my Club Mom account earning lots of juicy points that I can spend on something as horribly selfish as possibly my husband's birthday (february) gift. te he.
on an even upper note, i am v. proud to announce that absolutely none, zip, zero, nada, of my shopping has hit a credit card. every single purchase has been "cash" out of my checking debit... not only cash, but pre-saved cash that i had set aside for Christmas specifically.
realistically, however, i am at the end of that money with only half of my purchases made, and will likely be budgeting a lot more strictly for the next two checks to get the rest of my shopping done. either that, or i'm going to have to re-check my inventory and decide that i have, indeed, done enough shopping all together and focus on making myself the gift and being nicer and more considerate and all that crap at home.
then again, it's not too late to get a second "holiday income" job...
however, in recent years (i.e. since getting married and having a baby) i have been slipping farther and farther behind.
so far this year i have my in-laws done.
yep... that's it.
ok, not entirely it, it, but they're the only people I have done. and that's not really a fair measure because they put a limit on me, and really, there's not a lot you can do in the parameters they set up... so they were easy too. the rest of my family and friends, not so much...
i still have about half of my husband's gifts to go. ditto with mom and dad. i'm still debating on what to do for the baby, since i know she'll be "wallowing in spoildiferous" between her grandparents and i have already pretty much bought her everything i was "desperate" to get her (which i can afford) with the exception of some learning software... which i may well still get. as for my friends, for most of them, i don't even have a list drawn up to shop from, so i'm really up a creek. (note to anyone who reads this blog and was planning on x-mas-ing me, a paddle would really come in handy most days...) and remember how i said i was done for my in-laws, i lied. i only have my MIL done, i still have to find something for my FIL from the baby.
on an up note, this is year three or four now that over 50% of my holiday shopping has been done on line (the postal, UPS, and FedEx people HATE my household between August and the end of the year) and this year I finally wised up and am shopping as much as is humanly possible through my Club Mom account earning lots of juicy points that I can spend on something as horribly selfish as possibly my husband's birthday (february) gift. te he.
on an even upper note, i am v. proud to announce that absolutely none, zip, zero, nada, of my shopping has hit a credit card. every single purchase has been "cash" out of my checking debit... not only cash, but pre-saved cash that i had set aside for Christmas specifically.
realistically, however, i am at the end of that money with only half of my purchases made, and will likely be budgeting a lot more strictly for the next two checks to get the rest of my shopping done. either that, or i'm going to have to re-check my inventory and decide that i have, indeed, done enough shopping all together and focus on making myself the gift and being nicer and more considerate and all that crap at home.
then again, it's not too late to get a second "holiday income" job...
15 November 2005
ugh-lee day
man oh man is it ugly outside.
the sky looks almost lavender it's so full of cloud/rain/mist/slog or whatever it's doing out there.
i have access to memory now, and by virtue of being once again able to store files i'm back to the grindstone and feeling like i'm being eroded by work. it's hell catching up after a day of slack.
my mood is fading to the color of the sky - between work whacking out and life crapping all over my hubby right now (job sucks, job hunt sucks, stress abounds...) - if i owned a company (which necessarily would be small, but even if it were a mega company) I would allow my employees to have bad weather and/or mental health days or maybe both. I'd likely be mean about them though (at least mean through an employee's eyes) and say - "look, you get one mental health day a month. you can't borrow from next month, and you can't carry over from last month. if you don't need it, don't take it. if you do need it, it's there." bad weather days would be different, because they'd get the same days i would take, so i'd just make a phone call the night before - or early in the morning saying "i'm not coming in, don't risk your sanity or health by wasting your time on the road." my imaginary employees would likely end up with more days off than they needed, because i live on a private road that's mostly inhabited by people with trucks (they have more ground clearance than my little car) who can get out through higher snow than i can, so the plows don't come down the road unless we call, and they never call because they can all get out... it's just me and maybe another person or two who suffers when the snow is bad.
i need a mental health day today...
since there's no snow.
yet
the sky looks almost lavender it's so full of cloud/rain/mist/slog or whatever it's doing out there.
i have access to memory now, and by virtue of being once again able to store files i'm back to the grindstone and feeling like i'm being eroded by work. it's hell catching up after a day of slack.
my mood is fading to the color of the sky - between work whacking out and life crapping all over my hubby right now (job sucks, job hunt sucks, stress abounds...) - if i owned a company (which necessarily would be small, but even if it were a mega company) I would allow my employees to have bad weather and/or mental health days or maybe both. I'd likely be mean about them though (at least mean through an employee's eyes) and say - "look, you get one mental health day a month. you can't borrow from next month, and you can't carry over from last month. if you don't need it, don't take it. if you do need it, it's there." bad weather days would be different, because they'd get the same days i would take, so i'd just make a phone call the night before - or early in the morning saying "i'm not coming in, don't risk your sanity or health by wasting your time on the road." my imaginary employees would likely end up with more days off than they needed, because i live on a private road that's mostly inhabited by people with trucks (they have more ground clearance than my little car) who can get out through higher snow than i can, so the plows don't come down the road unless we call, and they never call because they can all get out... it's just me and maybe another person or two who suffers when the snow is bad.
i need a mental health day today...
since there's no snow.
yet
order and pap
first the order - why first - because it's what I have to do to get my mind clear enough to call the flipping idiots at the hospital and the insurance company.
so I have spent the last 10 minutes organizing my bills, bank statements, and all other necessary evils into their binders to bring a sense of calm into my life. somtimes it's very very therapeutic for me to just feel like I have a little control over something that is going to make me crazy. the other sense of happy that came from this is that looking at my 401k statement, i have enough saved up that i could use it for the downpayment on a house i might actually want to live in. not that my life is stable enough right now for house hunting, but it's still a good feeling to know that i have actually amassed something of some consideration out of all my grunt work.
and now the pap. apparently someone at blue cross thinks that i would subject myself to two pap smears in the same year. like ANY woman in her right mind, apart from those suspecting their doctors of having their head up the behinds, would do something like that. still - the reason that BCBS thinks this is because someone at the hospital - either my doctor's billing staff or the hospital's billing staff has either double billed - bad form - or has miscoded something they've billed. this is my third or fourth go-round with this, and i'm starting to get really really upset.
ok
i feel better
so I have spent the last 10 minutes organizing my bills, bank statements, and all other necessary evils into their binders to bring a sense of calm into my life. somtimes it's very very therapeutic for me to just feel like I have a little control over something that is going to make me crazy. the other sense of happy that came from this is that looking at my 401k statement, i have enough saved up that i could use it for the downpayment on a house i might actually want to live in. not that my life is stable enough right now for house hunting, but it's still a good feeling to know that i have actually amassed something of some consideration out of all my grunt work.
and now the pap. apparently someone at blue cross thinks that i would subject myself to two pap smears in the same year. like ANY woman in her right mind, apart from those suspecting their doctors of having their head up the behinds, would do something like that. still - the reason that BCBS thinks this is because someone at the hospital - either my doctor's billing staff or the hospital's billing staff has either double billed - bad form - or has miscoded something they've billed. this is my third or fourth go-round with this, and i'm starting to get really really upset.
ok
i feel better
14 November 2005
addiction
I have an addiction.
It has gotten in the way of wanting to spend much time with my friends.
It has stopped me from doing the things in which I used to delight.
And this weekend, it made me think twice about going to a UoM Football game.
I am addicted to my daughter... to motherhood... to being able to spend EVERY spare moment I have in the company of a little person who has JUST begun to speak in the most rudimentary of sentences.
I just can't get enough.
It has gotten in the way of wanting to spend much time with my friends.
It has stopped me from doing the things in which I used to delight.
And this weekend, it made me think twice about going to a UoM Football game.
I am addicted to my daughter... to motherhood... to being able to spend EVERY spare moment I have in the company of a little person who has JUST begun to speak in the most rudimentary of sentences.
I just can't get enough.
11 November 2005
surfing challenged
I have heard stories from friends and family about how they could spend an entire day surfing the net not even realising time has slipped out of their control, looking up only when prompted by the calling of nature - at one end or the other.
When I hear their stories, I marvel.
I believe this is because I'm surfing challenged.
There are a few sites I visit routinely, some seasonally, and others only because I've seen their URL on a billboard/highway overpass/bumpersticker and go once, but never go back.
Once I hit about 4 or 5 sites in any given day, however, I find myself struggling to remember if I've seen any url's that I thought were worth pursuing, or I try to google an emotion or thought for the day and see where it takes me... and generally I fail miserably. I find that I'm going back to the same 5 sites, checking my points, seeing if K has anything new to say, and then, usually, resorting to playing on-line games, because I can't find anything fun on the net.
Just thought I'd share.
When I hear their stories, I marvel.
I believe this is because I'm surfing challenged.
There are a few sites I visit routinely, some seasonally, and others only because I've seen their URL on a billboard/highway overpass/bumpersticker and go once, but never go back.
Once I hit about 4 or 5 sites in any given day, however, I find myself struggling to remember if I've seen any url's that I thought were worth pursuing, or I try to google an emotion or thought for the day and see where it takes me... and generally I fail miserably. I find that I'm going back to the same 5 sites, checking my points, seeing if K has anything new to say, and then, usually, resorting to playing on-line games, because I can't find anything fun on the net.
Just thought I'd share.
gold sky friday
There are three significant bonuses to waking up before most of the world on weekday mornings.
First - it means that my work day starts before my daughter is even awake for the day, and I can get home with enough time before dinner for us to play.
Second - it ensures that I'll wake early on the weekends as well, buying me extra time to read or just lounge and watch the baby sleep - AND I'm awake enough to concentrate on making breakfast for the family while most of them are still dreaming
Third - very often sunrises in this part of Michigan are beautiful. Right now, looking out my window, down the hall, and out the window of someone with more clout than I, I can see a mauve and ochre sky warming itself in the morning sun... hovering above the frost nipped and still leafy autumn trees of the city where I work.
I can also see an AMAZING string of traffic flowing from the northern suburbs into the city, and if I REALLY REALLY strain to listen, I can almost hear the grumbley curses, and the hope-filled sighs of "I just have to make it o n e m o r e d a y..." of the commuters.
j u s t
o n e
m o r e
d a y...
First - it means that my work day starts before my daughter is even awake for the day, and I can get home with enough time before dinner for us to play.
Second - it ensures that I'll wake early on the weekends as well, buying me extra time to read or just lounge and watch the baby sleep - AND I'm awake enough to concentrate on making breakfast for the family while most of them are still dreaming
Third - very often sunrises in this part of Michigan are beautiful. Right now, looking out my window, down the hall, and out the window of someone with more clout than I, I can see a mauve and ochre sky warming itself in the morning sun... hovering above the frost nipped and still leafy autumn trees of the city where I work.
I can also see an AMAZING string of traffic flowing from the northern suburbs into the city, and if I REALLY REALLY strain to listen, I can almost hear the grumbley curses, and the hope-filled sighs of "I just have to make it o n e m o r e d a y..." of the commuters.
j u s t
o n e
m o r e
d a y...
10 November 2005
2 Items
Looking at the magazine The Week (and old copy for the week of 10.28.05).
Two items got my attention - diaperless babies and kangaroo farts. I know, it sounds like an Ann Arbor band name.
The diaperless babies column actually got my attention not because of the novelty for a Western woman to be reading about liberation from diapers, but because recently my husband asked me what people did for diapers before there were diapers. I hadn't thought about it, and sort of off the cuff told him, "I don't know, rags?".
Apparently I am ENTIRELY a victim of my Western life.
According to the article, (and common sense really) before there were diapers - and even now in many cultures - and even now seeping (if you'll pardon the expression) into Western culture - the practice of a parent (usually a stay at home mom) watching the child for facial and other non-verbal clues (and probably after a few "accidents" figures out when the child needs to take care of business, and supports them over a receptacle or gutter and lets nature take it's course. Also according to the article, most children who are raise this way, are fully toilet trained by the time they're able to walk.
The article also pokes at "ultra competitive 'alpha parents'" as well, but I figure that's their beef, not mine, and was mostly just really glad to have a real answer for my husband.
The other article - kangaroo farts - is also personally tinted - and before you ask, "What could you possibly have to say about kangaroo farts?" let me tell you it's more about what has been learned from the farts, than the farts themselves.
The short story is that kangaroos have a bacteria in their guts that converts the methane to a useful acetate because the kangaroos use it for energy. Researchers want to culture the bacteria and start feeding it to cattle and sheep to help reduce the green-house gases in our atmosphere.
How this is applicable to me is that I have often said that I wanted to start a fart farm. I mean, I don't really entirely believe that I want to run it - and possibly not even start it - but if I could sell already existing dairy and beef farmers on the idea of sticking fart tubes on their cattle to harness the power of methane, well the, it would be the old "two birds" scenario... cut down on green-house emissions, and help find alternate energy sources for the farmer.
Yes, it IS far fetched, but isn't ALL of science when it is in its infancy?
Ok. I think I might be done for the morning.
Two items got my attention - diaperless babies and kangaroo farts. I know, it sounds like an Ann Arbor band name.
The diaperless babies column actually got my attention not because of the novelty for a Western woman to be reading about liberation from diapers, but because recently my husband asked me what people did for diapers before there were diapers. I hadn't thought about it, and sort of off the cuff told him, "I don't know, rags?".
Apparently I am ENTIRELY a victim of my Western life.
According to the article, (and common sense really) before there were diapers - and even now in many cultures - and even now seeping (if you'll pardon the expression) into Western culture - the practice of a parent (usually a stay at home mom) watching the child for facial and other non-verbal clues (and probably after a few "accidents" figures out when the child needs to take care of business, and supports them over a receptacle or gutter and lets nature take it's course. Also according to the article, most children who are raise this way, are fully toilet trained by the time they're able to walk.
The article also pokes at "ultra competitive 'alpha parents'" as well, but I figure that's their beef, not mine, and was mostly just really glad to have a real answer for my husband.
The other article - kangaroo farts - is also personally tinted - and before you ask, "What could you possibly have to say about kangaroo farts?" let me tell you it's more about what has been learned from the farts, than the farts themselves.
The short story is that kangaroos have a bacteria in their guts that converts the methane to a useful acetate because the kangaroos use it for energy. Researchers want to culture the bacteria and start feeding it to cattle and sheep to help reduce the green-house gases in our atmosphere.
How this is applicable to me is that I have often said that I wanted to start a fart farm. I mean, I don't really entirely believe that I want to run it - and possibly not even start it - but if I could sell already existing dairy and beef farmers on the idea of sticking fart tubes on their cattle to harness the power of methane, well the, it would be the old "two birds" scenario... cut down on green-house emissions, and help find alternate energy sources for the farmer.
Yes, it IS far fetched, but isn't ALL of science when it is in its infancy?
Ok. I think I might be done for the morning.
08 November 2005
sub-Zero
I thought about titling this ice-box (too regional) or refrigerator (too generic) or even frigidaire (too nostalgic) so I settled for the chrome standard.
My office is cold. Not MY office so much, because I have two incandescent lamps running and my door shut and even that's only enough to take the edge of the chill off the air. With the door open, it's absolutely unliveable in here... unless you're a polar bear... or maybe a harp seal.
Did I mention that I'm dressed in tights, shoes, long trousers, an undershirt and a sweater?
And that I'm still cold???
sheesh.
Probably if I were able to work (someone somewhere decided to lock me out of the network that all of my work and templates are stored on) I could use it to distract me from the cold, alas...
In the meantime, I'm working on my Thanksgiving menu (I'm cooking the whole meal this year) and possibly even a decor-scheme. I shudder to think of what I might concoct if I were a stay at home mom...
Anywho - that's my morning outlook...
My office is cold. Not MY office so much, because I have two incandescent lamps running and my door shut and even that's only enough to take the edge of the chill off the air. With the door open, it's absolutely unliveable in here... unless you're a polar bear... or maybe a harp seal.
Did I mention that I'm dressed in tights, shoes, long trousers, an undershirt and a sweater?
And that I'm still cold???
sheesh.
Probably if I were able to work (someone somewhere decided to lock me out of the network that all of my work and templates are stored on) I could use it to distract me from the cold, alas...
In the meantime, I'm working on my Thanksgiving menu (I'm cooking the whole meal this year) and possibly even a decor-scheme. I shudder to think of what I might concoct if I were a stay at home mom...
Anywho - that's my morning outlook...
04 November 2005
Asea
If, 5 years ago, you were to have asked me how marriage and a child could change one's life, I would have had a fairly decent answer - composed by someone who had never been married or had a child.
If you had asked me on the eve of my wedding what I thought my married life would be like, I probably would have had the same answer most women inches away from being wives would say.
Two years and a couple months later, truth be told, I don't know that I could explain to someone what being married is like. It's mercurial. No two minutes are really the same. ESPECIALLY when you are a parent.
I do know - for better or worse - that it is not what I expected two years and a couple of months ago. It's not what I reasoned through 5 years ago... and most likely, it won't be what I imagine 5 minutes from now.
If you had asked me on the eve of my wedding what I thought my married life would be like, I probably would have had the same answer most women inches away from being wives would say.
Two years and a couple months later, truth be told, I don't know that I could explain to someone what being married is like. It's mercurial. No two minutes are really the same. ESPECIALLY when you are a parent.
I do know - for better or worse - that it is not what I expected two years and a couple of months ago. It's not what I reasoned through 5 years ago... and most likely, it won't be what I imagine 5 minutes from now.
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