march... two, three, four...
i dislike march as much as some others i know have a disregard for the january... for the bleakness of it all.
march is that not yet spring month. it's the month of waiting for the ground to be ready to accept the seeds, even though the trees are starting to bud. it's a month of too-cold-for-open-windows-at-night - - even though the frogs are already singing. it's the month of winter is over, but it's not yet spring. march is a tease; not even a flirt - april is definitely a flirt...
oh - and march is also the month of college basketball nuttiness (i really don't like basketball).
and even though i'm Irish, i'm not a big fan of st. patrick's day either. who ever thought that a pinch was a good way to make someone feel even worse about forgetting to lay out the green socks (that didn't really go with the school uniform anyway) way back in 4th grade?
what's more, the more i think on it, the more i realise that march is also the ohio-on-a-roadtrip of months... january and february breeze (freeze?) right by... march, on the other hand, drags itself like a zombie's bad leg through the better part of five weeks. march is the traffic jam that hits me like 5 mintues before i get to spring... you know the traffic jam i'm talking about, the one that takes you 31 minutes at a quarter of a mile an hour to get through. and of course, with march, there's no service drive or altnerate route... you just have to suffer your way through it.
all i have left to say is that i'm glad it's over... that and Happy April to all you flirts out there.
31 March 2006
30 March 2006
consumerism junkie
i like to buy things.
i can't seem to stop myself.
the only thing that's made it even remotely tolerable for as long as it has been is that i have people to buy things for - right now, even, the number is increasing, so i'm safe. but what about when i get older and my friends start dying off, and their kids have all moved away. maybe that's when i'll start my altruistic career for unicef or something like that.
don't get me wrong, i hate shopping. i just like buying things. like i'll get it in my head that i need a new facial scrub, boom, i'm $15 down. or i'll decide that my daughter needs new shoes. like right now, i'm planning on what i'll be doing for the extended family for their kids' Easter baskets... or if they'll get baskets at all, or if i'll do something like bookcards or blockbuster cards in cute little easter cards and be done with it (it's not like a single one of them is going to NEED more chocolate...).
horrible bit is that i'm not overly keen on parting with money. crazy that, no?
oh - and since i drink copious amounts of diet coke anyway - i'm participating in the my coke rewards program. i'm figuring that since it goes through the endof the year, i should be able to get a watch for my mom, a bag for my dad, AND discount coupons for tickets to the Kennedy Space Center for our vacation in September. If you find yourself with a spare cap or two, feel free to contribute!
in the meantime, i'm thinking about the things that are going to be stuffing my husbands and fathers' Easter bags (my family doesn't get baskets, i don't like them...)
i can't seem to stop myself.
the only thing that's made it even remotely tolerable for as long as it has been is that i have people to buy things for - right now, even, the number is increasing, so i'm safe. but what about when i get older and my friends start dying off, and their kids have all moved away. maybe that's when i'll start my altruistic career for unicef or something like that.
don't get me wrong, i hate shopping. i just like buying things. like i'll get it in my head that i need a new facial scrub, boom, i'm $15 down. or i'll decide that my daughter needs new shoes. like right now, i'm planning on what i'll be doing for the extended family for their kids' Easter baskets... or if they'll get baskets at all, or if i'll do something like bookcards or blockbuster cards in cute little easter cards and be done with it (it's not like a single one of them is going to NEED more chocolate...).
horrible bit is that i'm not overly keen on parting with money. crazy that, no?
oh - and since i drink copious amounts of diet coke anyway - i'm participating in the my coke rewards program. i'm figuring that since it goes through the endof the year, i should be able to get a watch for my mom, a bag for my dad, AND discount coupons for tickets to the Kennedy Space Center for our vacation in September. If you find yourself with a spare cap or two, feel free to contribute!
in the meantime, i'm thinking about the things that are going to be stuffing my husbands and fathers' Easter bags (my family doesn't get baskets, i don't like them...)
27 March 2006
ago - away
i looked in my mirror this morning - - my little up close hand held one - - after putting on my makeup (i have a team meeting, and they all look so nice and smooth in the meetings, i just had to do something to not feel so naked...) and i realised that some of the elasticity of my face is waning; and that my skin looks - - well, - - thirsty.
then, i had a brief look at notes on a napkin and at first glance, the "beading" around the vase reminded me of when i was much younger, and used to wear a string of fake pearls as a belt. no... it wasn't a belt made out of a string of fake pearls, it was meant to be a necklace. i used to do a lot of wacky stuff and call it fashion.
i wish my face were a little firmer (my breasts, butt, and stomach too for that matter - - and don't even get me started on the area of my arms that i endearingly refer to as my bat-wings). of course i wish a had a little more money in the bank - - for rainy days, for a downpayment on a home of my own, for whatever. and i wish i had a little more time - - for my family, for my friends, for myself. and i wish i had a little more grace - - for the rough times, and the happy, and the inbetween days. (yes, that was a horribly transparent nod to some music that used to REALLY make me smile.) and i wish i had a little more wisdom - - for sharing, and keeping, and passing along.
but as my dzia dzia used to say, wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which fills up first...
ha ha ha
happy monday, and believe me... i may not have everything i wish for, but i have so much i'm not fussed...
then, i had a brief look at notes on a napkin and at first glance, the "beading" around the vase reminded me of when i was much younger, and used to wear a string of fake pearls as a belt. no... it wasn't a belt made out of a string of fake pearls, it was meant to be a necklace. i used to do a lot of wacky stuff and call it fashion.
i wish my face were a little firmer (my breasts, butt, and stomach too for that matter - - and don't even get me started on the area of my arms that i endearingly refer to as my bat-wings). of course i wish a had a little more money in the bank - - for rainy days, for a downpayment on a home of my own, for whatever. and i wish i had a little more time - - for my family, for my friends, for myself. and i wish i had a little more grace - - for the rough times, and the happy, and the inbetween days. (yes, that was a horribly transparent nod to some music that used to REALLY make me smile.) and i wish i had a little more wisdom - - for sharing, and keeping, and passing along.
but as my dzia dzia used to say, wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which fills up first...
ha ha ha
happy monday, and believe me... i may not have everything i wish for, but i have so much i'm not fussed...
24 March 2006
bizarro world day
move the green magnet to friday, glory be
there were no maniacs on the drive in today. there were actually very few cars in general on the drive in today. i decided that this was because much of the rest of the working class also has "finnitis" but, unlike me, decided to call in sick because they know winter is almost over for this side of the calendar, and hardly anyone ever believes you that you're sick in the spring or summer without a doctor's note because everyone needs to have a non-pre-planned day off just because the air is sweet and the sun is shining and damn it just feels good to not have to go in to that building and pretend i care for another 8 hours.
i think i have a mild sinus infection, and there's a part of me that really wants to go to my docoffice and get a z-pack and be done with it. the other part of me - - the part that was raised by a hypochondriac - - is worried (as i always am unless i'm at death's door) that it's not really a sinus infection, but merely a snotty nose and a bad headache and stiff neck and that if i just rest and relax through the weekend, i'll be fine by monday and that the people at my docoffice will explain to me that it's not a siunus infection and that i should just get some rest, and then think that i'm a genetically predisposed hypochondirac too and will never take me seriously again, even when i'm at death's door the next time. i don't second guess myself about everything like this. honestly. it's just that i HATE spending the time and money to go to the doctor's office when i'm not really sick
like, today, for example, i don't have a fever... so it can't be a BAD sinus infection, right? but then, aren't you supposed to go to the doctor EARLY in an illness to nip it in the bud before it gets to be some horrible weed of an illness??? truly, i never know what to do.
it doesn't help that this is the first year in many - - possibly as many as five - - that i've returned to being that ridiculous nagging half-sick, under the weather, slight malaise, kind of sick all season long instead of having one really big bout of utterly miserable and then back in the saddle after a couple of weeks kind of illness. as much as the latter kicks my ass, it beats the whiney whimpery ass-wipe feeling of getting sick once and holding on to it for the rest of the bad-health season.
why can't we just get a good dose of warm weather and healing sunshine and be done with it?
and wouldn't it be nice if i could shoot laser beams out of my eye sockets and (temporarily) smite the pains in the ass of the world?
have a nice day.
there were no maniacs on the drive in today. there were actually very few cars in general on the drive in today. i decided that this was because much of the rest of the working class also has "finnitis" but, unlike me, decided to call in sick because they know winter is almost over for this side of the calendar, and hardly anyone ever believes you that you're sick in the spring or summer without a doctor's note because everyone needs to have a non-pre-planned day off just because the air is sweet and the sun is shining and damn it just feels good to not have to go in to that building and pretend i care for another 8 hours.
i think i have a mild sinus infection, and there's a part of me that really wants to go to my docoffice and get a z-pack and be done with it. the other part of me - - the part that was raised by a hypochondriac - - is worried (as i always am unless i'm at death's door) that it's not really a sinus infection, but merely a snotty nose and a bad headache and stiff neck and that if i just rest and relax through the weekend, i'll be fine by monday and that the people at my docoffice will explain to me that it's not a siunus infection and that i should just get some rest, and then think that i'm a genetically predisposed hypochondirac too and will never take me seriously again, even when i'm at death's door the next time. i don't second guess myself about everything like this. honestly. it's just that i HATE spending the time and money to go to the doctor's office when i'm not really sick
like, today, for example, i don't have a fever... so it can't be a BAD sinus infection, right? but then, aren't you supposed to go to the doctor EARLY in an illness to nip it in the bud before it gets to be some horrible weed of an illness??? truly, i never know what to do.
it doesn't help that this is the first year in many - - possibly as many as five - - that i've returned to being that ridiculous nagging half-sick, under the weather, slight malaise, kind of sick all season long instead of having one really big bout of utterly miserable and then back in the saddle after a couple of weeks kind of illness. as much as the latter kicks my ass, it beats the whiney whimpery ass-wipe feeling of getting sick once and holding on to it for the rest of the bad-health season.
why can't we just get a good dose of warm weather and healing sunshine and be done with it?
and wouldn't it be nice if i could shoot laser beams out of my eye sockets and (temporarily) smite the pains in the ass of the world?
have a nice day.
23 March 2006
tidbit
this is one of my happiest thoughts for the day.
this morning, looking for a black blazer/jacket that fit (the 20's are now out of the question) i grabbed the one i'm wearing right now.
it's a 16!
(ok - in the name of full disclosure, it's also made of something beautifully stretchy - - like a lycra and cotton blend - - but it FITS, with a shirt under it.)
this morning, looking for a black blazer/jacket that fit (the 20's are now out of the question) i grabbed the one i'm wearing right now.
it's a 16!
(ok - in the name of full disclosure, it's also made of something beautifully stretchy - - like a lycra and cotton blend - - but it FITS, with a shirt under it.)
normally...
i review the blogs on my favorites list before posting my own thoughts... it's mostly in an effort to avoid concurrent blogging, or to point people to other points of interest.
today, however, i experienced something so unbeliveably inane, that i can't imagine anyone else (at least not in my own little blogosphere) would have the exact same experience today... this morning... on the way in to work.
driving down my crazy busy stretch of I-75 (not, mind you in the direction i prefer - - that being all the way south to Florida) i noticed a man, younger, who seemed to be having trouble staying in his own lane, and who didn't really appear to be paying a lot of attention to the road, distracted, instead by something either in his lap or on the seat beside him. i noticed him because he had swerved into my lane, in front of me, and caused me to drop my speed (rather suddenly) by about 15 miles an hour. at first, i was worried... maybe he had dropped something important, or spilled something hot on himself. then i was worried for me, if his erratic driving continued, certainly he'd be killing me before i got to work.
i turned on my indicator, carefully checked my blindspot, and merged into the lane to the right. as i passed him - he was, indeed, still slowing down, i peeked over.
he was eating. his. breakfast.
out. of. a. bowl.
with. a. spoon.
sigh.
today, however, i experienced something so unbeliveably inane, that i can't imagine anyone else (at least not in my own little blogosphere) would have the exact same experience today... this morning... on the way in to work.
driving down my crazy busy stretch of I-75 (not, mind you in the direction i prefer - - that being all the way south to Florida) i noticed a man, younger, who seemed to be having trouble staying in his own lane, and who didn't really appear to be paying a lot of attention to the road, distracted, instead by something either in his lap or on the seat beside him. i noticed him because he had swerved into my lane, in front of me, and caused me to drop my speed (rather suddenly) by about 15 miles an hour. at first, i was worried... maybe he had dropped something important, or spilled something hot on himself. then i was worried for me, if his erratic driving continued, certainly he'd be killing me before i got to work.
i turned on my indicator, carefully checked my blindspot, and merged into the lane to the right. as i passed him - he was, indeed, still slowing down, i peeked over.
he was eating. his. breakfast.
out. of. a. bowl.
with. a. spoon.
sigh.
20 March 2006
Product
just a moment to remind the world that i am, indeed, a product of my childhood.
because i am still locked out of Michigan Radio, i listen today to the NYU version of NPR. their programming is brought to me courtesy, in part, of Jazz at Lincoln Center.
whenever i hear anything about Lincoln Center, i think immediately of Margaret and her trips with her grandmother, in the book about her by Judy Blume.
the price is low enough that i could (and probably will) get this for my daughter - even though she's not yet two, and put it in her "when I get bigger box" from mama.
end of flashback, we now return...
because i am still locked out of Michigan Radio, i listen today to the NYU version of NPR. their programming is brought to me courtesy, in part, of Jazz at Lincoln Center.
whenever i hear anything about Lincoln Center, i think immediately of Margaret and her trips with her grandmother, in the book about her by Judy Blume.
the price is low enough that i could (and probably will) get this for my daughter - even though she's not yet two, and put it in her "when I get bigger box" from mama.
end of flashback, we now return...
Funk - and I Don't Mean Music
there's been a lot of funk floating aroung latey... and even some funk-breaking (and i don't mean dance). here in fin-land too...
i'm working on mine by trying to focus on others and desperately attempting to work up the gumption for a real spring-cleaning... and we bought some flowers yesterday... pretty pink ones. not a lot, but enough to brighten the room.
my daughter helps too... her sensitivity, her humor, and her everything else other than the two-year-tantrums that are beginning to kick in.
i think it helps, too, that i have a lot of plans... the kind that i'm not even tempted to run away from.
and definitely the "retail-therapy" of Easter Basket stuffing shopping has very much improved my mood. there is something exceptionally refreshing about buying butt-loads of very fattening (and nice smelling) chocolate goodies and knowing that you're not going to suffer on the scale because none. of. it. is. for. you.!
we'll also be planting our seeds soon. we have all sorts, and i'm a seed junkie... well, actually i'm a green and growing things junkie. sure, it breaks my heart when half of it doesn't do what i'd prefer it to do, but honestly, how much can you greive a wasting bean plant?
OH - and I think i may have discovered the source of the phantom cigarette smoke. thanks to an online forum peopled by a lot of other smoke smell sufferers, many of whom have been diagnosed with "deep sinus infections". apparently, according to their ENT's, the smell is my brain picking up on the smell of the infection. many of them are reporting "losing the smell" after a round or two of anitbiotics. yes, of course, i intend to discuss this possibility thoroughly with my doctor(s), but just knowing that people out there have found a reasonable explanation has significantly brightened my mood.
and finally, the folks on Michigan Radio (which I can now only listen to on my commute) tell me that today is the first day of spring. So - happy spring to you all... with bright (and warm) wishes for a funk-free season!
love love love...
i'm working on mine by trying to focus on others and desperately attempting to work up the gumption for a real spring-cleaning... and we bought some flowers yesterday... pretty pink ones. not a lot, but enough to brighten the room.
my daughter helps too... her sensitivity, her humor, and her everything else other than the two-year-tantrums that are beginning to kick in.
i think it helps, too, that i have a lot of plans... the kind that i'm not even tempted to run away from.
and definitely the "retail-therapy" of Easter Basket stuffing shopping has very much improved my mood. there is something exceptionally refreshing about buying butt-loads of very fattening (and nice smelling) chocolate goodies and knowing that you're not going to suffer on the scale because none. of. it. is. for. you.!
we'll also be planting our seeds soon. we have all sorts, and i'm a seed junkie... well, actually i'm a green and growing things junkie. sure, it breaks my heart when half of it doesn't do what i'd prefer it to do, but honestly, how much can you greive a wasting bean plant?
OH - and I think i may have discovered the source of the phantom cigarette smoke. thanks to an online forum peopled by a lot of other smoke smell sufferers, many of whom have been diagnosed with "deep sinus infections". apparently, according to their ENT's, the smell is my brain picking up on the smell of the infection. many of them are reporting "losing the smell" after a round or two of anitbiotics. yes, of course, i intend to discuss this possibility thoroughly with my doctor(s), but just knowing that people out there have found a reasonable explanation has significantly brightened my mood.
and finally, the folks on Michigan Radio (which I can now only listen to on my commute) tell me that today is the first day of spring. So - happy spring to you all... with bright (and warm) wishes for a funk-free season!
love love love...
17 March 2006
Green Scene
Happy St. Pat's to everyone.
I have a lot of crap to finish up today, so it's brief, at least for now.
Hope you have a great day and remember that spring IS coming...
... someday.
I have a lot of crap to finish up today, so it's brief, at least for now.
Hope you have a great day and remember that spring IS coming...
... someday.
16 March 2006
Elmo in the Pee
at what is most likely significant risk to my daughters human rights, allow me to recite her ABC's (as she did for the first time for mama and daddy last night)
a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,Elmo in the pee,q,r,s,t,u,v,double, x, y,z
this was, of course, the highlight of my evening.
a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,Elmo in the pee,q,r,s,t,u,v,double, x, y,z
this was, of course, the highlight of my evening.
Talking Girl...
a friend of mine sometimes uses the phrase "talking girl, you talk too much." he seldom uses it about me - at least in my company. lately, though, he could without hurting my feelings. i've felt very much like babble-queen... and truly it's all babble.
like -
last night i went down to the dungeon and walked a mile in just about a half an hour. for me, this is an accomplishment... i'm considering considering it training for walk-a-thon (which would mean 20 miles would only take me 10 hours -woo hoo!). though in my defense, more than half of it was at a 4% incline or greater. and i even sweated a little, and the machine used its magic math (fuzzy math?) to determine that i had burned through 135 calories (almost the caloric cost of one of my diet ice cream sandwiches - 150) in that short time. i sometimes wonder if there's a scale and age-determining-device somewhere on-board the machine. that would be cool...
like -
i got behind a cute little yellow beetle this morning on my way to work (late) and saw www.gocoach.com on the bumper and thought it was a really cute (but impractical) alternative to the ubiquitous metro-cabs and metro-cars that normally get in my way on the way to work. i know i have mentioned that i live only moments from an international airport before. still, i was curious enough - about rates maybe? - to go to the website... very much freaked me out to learn that they're not a cab company at all... let alone what they really do. i think they should have put a little more thought into the color and name choices - unless they wanted to be routinely mistaken for a transportation company.
like -
WHY ISN'T IT FRIDAY YET???
like -
today is supposed to be day of snow and cold (still bummed about losing the 70 degree weather) and i desperately want to practice my "today is my best day ever"-customer-service-attitude with someone who's going to be contacting me within the next couple of hours regarding some customer service i need to provide her, and my real mood is more like "today is the crappy day of snow that comes in on the tail of a week that started with 70 degree days so how can i make you happy because you obviously don't care if i am." and i know i need to adjust, but come on...
(read on)
like -
my company recently tricked my work-installation of my yahoo messenger into thinking that it's already logged on, so i can't log on again, and dis-installed some of the codecs i need to listen to Michigan Public Radio on Media Player, and i'm fairly certain that if this trend keeps up they'll be taking down my walls and installing the company mariachi band directly across the hall. the translation to this is that a bulk of my creature comforts have been dismantled which only serves to make me a less than happy employee, instead of making me more secure... whatever.
ok - so the bottom line is that when i talk too much, it almost always denegrates into a litany of grousing instead of me focusing on silver linings and the bright side and whatnot... so, here's the good stuff:
i have a great family, i have a mini-vacation almost planned at the end of may and a real vacation (replete with ocean beach) actually planned for mid september and the snow can't last all spring and summer too, and my cat keeps my feet warm on snowy nights so maybe the oncoming snow isn't such a bad thing and i have a great family and it's likely that i'll be able to find a quick solution for my customer service issue, and possibly even a (not quick but suitable) solution to my Michigan Radio and Yahoo Messenger situations.
thanks for listening...
like -
last night i went down to the dungeon and walked a mile in just about a half an hour. for me, this is an accomplishment... i'm considering considering it training for walk-a-thon (which would mean 20 miles would only take me 10 hours -woo hoo!). though in my defense, more than half of it was at a 4% incline or greater. and i even sweated a little, and the machine used its magic math (fuzzy math?) to determine that i had burned through 135 calories (almost the caloric cost of one of my diet ice cream sandwiches - 150) in that short time. i sometimes wonder if there's a scale and age-determining-device somewhere on-board the machine. that would be cool...
like -
i got behind a cute little yellow beetle this morning on my way to work (late) and saw www.gocoach.com on the bumper and thought it was a really cute (but impractical) alternative to the ubiquitous metro-cabs and metro-cars that normally get in my way on the way to work. i know i have mentioned that i live only moments from an international airport before. still, i was curious enough - about rates maybe? - to go to the website... very much freaked me out to learn that they're not a cab company at all... let alone what they really do. i think they should have put a little more thought into the color and name choices - unless they wanted to be routinely mistaken for a transportation company.
like -
WHY ISN'T IT FRIDAY YET???
like -
today is supposed to be day of snow and cold (still bummed about losing the 70 degree weather) and i desperately want to practice my "today is my best day ever"-customer-service-attitude with someone who's going to be contacting me within the next couple of hours regarding some customer service i need to provide her, and my real mood is more like "today is the crappy day of snow that comes in on the tail of a week that started with 70 degree days so how can i make you happy because you obviously don't care if i am." and i know i need to adjust, but come on...
(read on)
like -
my company recently tricked my work-installation of my yahoo messenger into thinking that it's already logged on, so i can't log on again, and dis-installed some of the codecs i need to listen to Michigan Public Radio on Media Player, and i'm fairly certain that if this trend keeps up they'll be taking down my walls and installing the company mariachi band directly across the hall. the translation to this is that a bulk of my creature comforts have been dismantled which only serves to make me a less than happy employee, instead of making me more secure... whatever.
ok - so the bottom line is that when i talk too much, it almost always denegrates into a litany of grousing instead of me focusing on silver linings and the bright side and whatnot... so, here's the good stuff:
i have a great family, i have a mini-vacation almost planned at the end of may and a real vacation (replete with ocean beach) actually planned for mid september and the snow can't last all spring and summer too, and my cat keeps my feet warm on snowy nights so maybe the oncoming snow isn't such a bad thing and i have a great family and it's likely that i'll be able to find a quick solution for my customer service issue, and possibly even a (not quick but suitable) solution to my Michigan Radio and Yahoo Messenger situations.
thanks for listening...
15 March 2006
Saving Babies wtih Gratuitous Self Promotion
As I do every year, I am walking (either literally or virtually) in the March of Dimes Walk-a-Thon at the end of April. I do the walk because I believe in the joy of motherhood. That's all, no soap box, no pity plea, just the plain and simple fact that being a mom is an incredible blessing, an honest to goodness miracle, and an outright joy. Well, that and I would like to think that I'm helping it be that way for as many moms as I can.
If you are interested and able, please follow the link in my sidebar to access my sponsor page. Otherwise, please send along your happy thoughts...
Thanks!
If you are interested and able, please follow the link in my sidebar to access my sponsor page. Otherwise, please send along your happy thoughts...
Thanks!
Moussaoui-Man
Consider:
A government has in custody a man who is clearly (if indirectly) responsible for the deaths of many citizens of its country.
The citizenry absolutely expects the government to prosecute, to the fullest extent, this assistant-murderer.
If he is put to death, he will most certainly be considered a martyr by his peers.
What can the government do BUT monkey up the case so expertly as to convince the judge and jury that there is no way to impose the death penalty, leaving life imprisonment the only option?
I'm honestly quite surprised the media hasn't already jumped all over this...
A government has in custody a man who is clearly (if indirectly) responsible for the deaths of many citizens of its country.
The citizenry absolutely expects the government to prosecute, to the fullest extent, this assistant-murderer.
If he is put to death, he will most certainly be considered a martyr by his peers.
What can the government do BUT monkey up the case so expertly as to convince the judge and jury that there is no way to impose the death penalty, leaving life imprisonment the only option?
I'm honestly quite surprised the media hasn't already jumped all over this...
3 months of Insurance Premiums
I scammed this from Pink Dot... whose blog, btw, is priceless.
My blog is worth $1,693.62.
How much is your blog worth?
14 March 2006
4WARD
looks like award. i shorthanded this little note on my calendar for April 2: "Spring 4Ward". every time i look up to my calendar, what i see is Spring Award and i wonder what i'm winning. it's unnerving.
my family have decided to kill me, i've decided. last night daughter smaked me in the nose with her head, hard enough that i heard something (most likely cartilage) crackle. i bled a bit. my nose (though not bruised) is swollen this morning, though only enough that i can tell. luck. then, this morning, on the perilous trek through the darkened halls, i smacked my middle toe of my right foot on one of the many errant computers we have lying around the house. no, i'm not kidding. everything from the top knuckle to the tip of my toe is numb, which i count as a blessing because i can't imagine how much it would hurt if i could actually feel it.
all this on the heels of a killer migraine yesterday (special nod to the wickedly changing weather in Michigan this week). sunday we passed a bank that said it was 75, yesterday it was definitely in the 70's this is what we have for the rest of the week:
my family have decided to kill me, i've decided. last night daughter smaked me in the nose with her head, hard enough that i heard something (most likely cartilage) crackle. i bled a bit. my nose (though not bruised) is swollen this morning, though only enough that i can tell. luck. then, this morning, on the perilous trek through the darkened halls, i smacked my middle toe of my right foot on one of the many errant computers we have lying around the house. no, i'm not kidding. everything from the top knuckle to the tip of my toe is numb, which i count as a blessing because i can't imagine how much it would hurt if i could actually feel it.
all this on the heels of a killer migraine yesterday (special nod to the wickedly changing weather in Michigan this week). sunday we passed a bank that said it was 75, yesterday it was definitely in the 70's this is what we have for the rest of the week:
i actually heard on NPR (ok, Michigan Radio) this morning that we should expect between 3 and 5 inches of snow on Thursday/Thursday night.
Pee-Pot! that's all i can say on the matter.
in other news i have a dozen more plastic easter eggs to hand from the ceiling of my office. these have bright colors and happy prints (most are lines and dots, but a few have bunnies and flowers)
i think that's about it for today. until maybe later.
09 March 2006
Library Card
for the first time in my life i own a library card (i'm not counting high school or college, as that was my student id too). it's for the city where i work... they graciously allow membership (for free) to residents, and people who work and study in the city. it makes me smile. hard.
i have no idea what they actually have in the library... i mean, you know, if it's well stocked or full of old boring stuff. my friend Q says it's a great place... full of good stuff. the part i like about it is that there's a LOT you can do online.
i'm actually thinking of hopping over to the website and downloading an audio book to start listening to on the way home this afternoon.
i have no idea what they actually have in the library... i mean, you know, if it's well stocked or full of old boring stuff. my friend Q says it's a great place... full of good stuff. the part i like about it is that there's a LOT you can do online.
i'm actually thinking of hopping over to the website and downloading an audio book to start listening to on the way home this afternoon.
08 March 2006
the doctor is in - $0.05
some days i think about going to a psychoanalyst maybe to discover what it is about me that makes me a distant type person. when i'm in company i'm not cold (i don't think) - at least not actively aloof. i'm not all that reserved, though i try to keep my rabid opinions to myself. i'm actually fairly candid in conversation.
what i don't get, though, is why i tend to avoid instances of conversation.
maybe it's a defense mechanism. knowing as i do that i open up when i'm with trusted friends, and still feeling the "danger" in being exposed, i just avoid the occasion of being around someone with whom i will spill-my-guts?
maybe it's just being accustomed (as an only child) to being my own company and keeping my own counsel?
i am, as i recently wrote in a letter of apology, most decidedly inconsistent company.
i seldom make social engagements because they cause me no end of angst in wishing my way out of them. when i do make plans (knowing that i'm not going to back out if i actually make the plan) i suffer "the anxiety" over being at least moderately more interesting than pocket lint - and still i find myself at a loss for a good ice-breaker or story that actually has a clever or witty ending... or even that has an ending would be good enough.
most of my long time friends (i.e. people who have put up with me and my skittishness for at least ten years) are either like me, or too busy to notice that they haven't seen me in several months, or have gotten so used to the fact that i leave the house less often than the-crazy-lady-with-the-jungle-of-cats-in-her-old-haunted-house that they almost prefer not to see me too often - just in case i start telling one of those stories that doesn't really have an ending.
i actually suck at companionship. i admit it freely.
but not at friendship. just so you know. i have abiding love for the people who i consider my friends... and even more for those brave souls who dare to call me friend.
just so you know
what i don't get, though, is why i tend to avoid instances of conversation.
maybe it's a defense mechanism. knowing as i do that i open up when i'm with trusted friends, and still feeling the "danger" in being exposed, i just avoid the occasion of being around someone with whom i will spill-my-guts?
maybe it's just being accustomed (as an only child) to being my own company and keeping my own counsel?
i am, as i recently wrote in a letter of apology, most decidedly inconsistent company.
i seldom make social engagements because they cause me no end of angst in wishing my way out of them. when i do make plans (knowing that i'm not going to back out if i actually make the plan) i suffer "the anxiety" over being at least moderately more interesting than pocket lint - and still i find myself at a loss for a good ice-breaker or story that actually has a clever or witty ending... or even that has an ending would be good enough.
most of my long time friends (i.e. people who have put up with me and my skittishness for at least ten years) are either like me, or too busy to notice that they haven't seen me in several months, or have gotten so used to the fact that i leave the house less often than the-crazy-lady-with-the-jungle-of-cats-in-her-old-haunted-house that they almost prefer not to see me too often - just in case i start telling one of those stories that doesn't really have an ending.
i actually suck at companionship. i admit it freely.
but not at friendship. just so you know. i have abiding love for the people who i consider my friends... and even more for those brave souls who dare to call me friend.
just so you know
Nibbles n Bits
do you ever get the feeling that half of what you write sounds more like bad band names (or worse, bad album names) because you're just trying to be clever enough to get people to read your stuff?
i've lost a bit more weight... 27 pounds in total, and i am writing to you from my new jeans, one size smaller. it feels pretty good.
this doesn't:
i've lost a bit more weight... 27 pounds in total, and i am writing to you from my new jeans, one size smaller. it feels pretty good.
this doesn't:
i have had my access to a site i particularly enjoyed visiting blocked. at first i thought it was a glitch with the site, but apparently others are still able to enjoy it. what brings me down the most, though, is that i considered the proprietess a friend (at the very least a friendly acquaintance) but i have the shocking feeling that i am mistaken.
sometime soon there will need to be an email from me, wondering what i've done to offend, and what i can do to make amends... but before i put myself out on that limb, i have some thinking to do, to see if i can figure it out on my own. (this is also a ruse on my part, trying to convince myself it's a work-computer restriction, and that if i just make the time while at home, on my own computer, i'll discover that it's all a technical glitch, and not some horrible misunderstanding). and, at the end of the day, if it all falls out poorly for me, i guess i'll just console myself to the fact that she has her reasons, and wish her well as i move on in my own direction.
the week is showing promise of being busy all the way through. i believe this is a good thing. it helps me embrace the feeling that i'm more than just a number monkey and something a bit more like a valuable cog in the machine that is my company. because of this, however, it's going to be a lame blog week.
apologies all around.
06 March 2006
balance
Work / Life
i'm back in the office. it's a lot like i left it... messy, warm and dark, and nearly silent. it seems the world is still sleeping at nearly 8am. i know, from experience last week, that the homestead is still in silent slumber... for at least another half an hour (the absolute earliest the baby will wake for the day is 8:30, and when she does that she's grumpy by noon).
i learned a lot about my daughter over the last week that i thought i already knew... but weekend days with your kid are a lot different than weekday days. for example, she only really likes breakfast when it's weekend breakfast (bacon or sausage, omlettes and toast or pancakes or french toast, and orange juice). on cereal week days that are punctuated only by the inclusion of a few slices of strawberry, or some fresh blueberries... she mostly just east the fruit, drinks some milk, and declares herself "done."
there are a lot of those little nuances that i never really knew about because the only times i've been home with her through the entire course of the day were when she was a nursing infant, weekends and vacations (which are really just extended weekends, and usually not even at home).
Checkbook
i never make as much money as i could use to pay bills, buy groceries, and occasionally spoil my family with little surprises. this time i actually included a new pair of jeans for myself (as my own are falling off my body and hanging in particularly unseemly sags). i have a whopping $20 left in my account. that should cover fuel costs until i get paid again on the 15th and the second half of the billing cycle happens to me.
Health
i'm feeling better. mom and daughter are feeling better... it only stands to follow that husband and father appear to be suffering the ravages now. i think that were i to work from home until we were all of sound body, i might as well just start taking the income tax deductions for home office.
my co-workers are beginning to drop like flies. fortunately, i can say with relative self assurance that this has nothing to do with me.
Mental
i will never willingly admit to any mental imbalance. i may, from time to time, agree that it is a very serious challenge to maintain it, but that's as much as you'll get from me.
Now that i'm back in the saddle you can anticipate something along the lines of daily updates.
i'm back in the office. it's a lot like i left it... messy, warm and dark, and nearly silent. it seems the world is still sleeping at nearly 8am. i know, from experience last week, that the homestead is still in silent slumber... for at least another half an hour (the absolute earliest the baby will wake for the day is 8:30, and when she does that she's grumpy by noon).
i learned a lot about my daughter over the last week that i thought i already knew... but weekend days with your kid are a lot different than weekday days. for example, she only really likes breakfast when it's weekend breakfast (bacon or sausage, omlettes and toast or pancakes or french toast, and orange juice). on cereal week days that are punctuated only by the inclusion of a few slices of strawberry, or some fresh blueberries... she mostly just east the fruit, drinks some milk, and declares herself "done."
there are a lot of those little nuances that i never really knew about because the only times i've been home with her through the entire course of the day were when she was a nursing infant, weekends and vacations (which are really just extended weekends, and usually not even at home).
Checkbook
i never make as much money as i could use to pay bills, buy groceries, and occasionally spoil my family with little surprises. this time i actually included a new pair of jeans for myself (as my own are falling off my body and hanging in particularly unseemly sags). i have a whopping $20 left in my account. that should cover fuel costs until i get paid again on the 15th and the second half of the billing cycle happens to me.
Health
i'm feeling better. mom and daughter are feeling better... it only stands to follow that husband and father appear to be suffering the ravages now. i think that were i to work from home until we were all of sound body, i might as well just start taking the income tax deductions for home office.
my co-workers are beginning to drop like flies. fortunately, i can say with relative self assurance that this has nothing to do with me.
Mental
i will never willingly admit to any mental imbalance. i may, from time to time, agree that it is a very serious challenge to maintain it, but that's as much as you'll get from me.
Now that i'm back in the saddle you can anticipate something along the lines of daily updates.
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