Cosmetiquette

I don't normally wear makeup.

Partly because I don't like it.
Partly because it takes time to apply it.*
Partly because it means I have to take extra time at night to wash it off.
Partly because, apart from photographs, I don't think most women need it, and I firmly believe that FAR TOO MANY women have been convinced that they do.

I have makeup on today.

The story:
Since my late 20's but ESPECIALLY since pregnancy and the birth of my daughter, I have had bad skin. This was a miserable realisation for me, as I had beautiful skin through my teens, which are supposed to be the worst. There are a lot of reasons why my skin could have taken a nose dive... not as much time spent on washing my face before bed; entering the work force full time and dealing with a world of financial stress I never thought I'd suffer; sitting, bored, through meetings with my cheek in my palm; hormone changes... who knows... there are a lot of possibilities - and combinations of them.

Anywho... the bad skin is exacerbated by the fact that I can't leave the blemishes alone and find myself as often as not tugging at the rough edges of my skin until - well, until my face is a nasty mess of sores, scabs, and ugly blotches of red.

Recently, significant stresses in my life have had an unnerving effect on the state of my face... and I'm blotched with ugliness across my forehead and down most of my right cheek. Quite honestly, it's damned ugly.

For my own sake this isn't a problem. I don't look in the mirror all that much anyway.

But this morning, I got to thinking about how uncomfortable my franken-face must make others. I know that when I see someone with an obvious disfigurement, despite every attempt to behave normally, my eye traces to the cold sore, or the giant pimple, or the scar, or the scab, or... you get the picture. My drifting attention makes me uncomfortable, because I'm always wondering if the person with the unfortunate affliction is wondering if I'm looking at it, or if it really doesn't show, or whatever. Under those circumstances, it often feels like absolutely no headway - or social discourse - is actually happening, and we're both doing a very uncomfortable version of the Mexican Hat Dance around the offending malady.

So... this morning... for the sake of those around me... and the work and conversations and social discourse I would like to support, I put on makeup.

The most amusing bit is that apart from a meeting this morning (a meeting with people who I wouldn't at all have minded offending, by the way) no one's seen me.

* As a note for all of you who inclined to advise me that I can do a "quick coat" of just my "focus areas" in only 5 minutes... that is five minutes of sleep, tooth brushing, hair brushing, cat feeding, etc that I'd rather not add to my already insane 4:30 wake up time!