Wediquette

Wq recently received an invitation to a cousin's wedding.

The bride (?) very gracefully explained in the invitation "adult reception to follow..." and (and this part I liked) "tie required". In 6 words she managed to tell EVERYONE that it is a formal event and that children - while they love them - are not invited.

We will be declining. It's nothing personal... I mean, actually it's entirely personal - but it's my personal... it's not a grudge against their persons, personal. At this time in my life - and more specifically at this time in my daughter's life - I'm not prepared to spend an evening away from her to participate in the reception of a loved (but not close) cousin. As a matter of fact, at this time in her life there are very few things that will entice me away from her for an entire evening. Just ask her father... he knows...

So, the coolest bit of this invitation is that I don't really imagine either the groom or the bride being horribly offended. I knew - let me rephrase KNEW - that when I made *my* wedding a no-kids event many of the people invited would not come, because they either:
a) wanted to be with their kids or
b) wanted to be at the wedding but coudn't find a sitter.
I was not offended. I just realised that priorities are priorities and there's no way I'm going to discredit ANYONE for wanting to be with their children. As a matter of fact, I seriously applauded those who didn't come because they wanted to be with their children - but that's mostly because I really wanted a small wedding to begin with, and blah blah blah blah blah... story for a different time.

Anywho... what I'm saying is that I'm not of the mind that weddings are events for children. I've taken my daughter to three of them (in the short 15 months of her life) and she has enjoyed zero. I'm also fairly certain that the brides and grooms felt no specific special blessing for having my daughter (who doesn't understand the concept of matrimony, or blessings, or pretty much more than a vague idea of love - and that's only recent) at their events. Moreover at one of the three events, I'm almost decided that the bride and groom might rather have NOT had me and my husband there, than to have had my daughter with us.

So what I'm saying is that I'm grateful to the bride for letting me know right up front that she has specific ideas of what she wants, that she did it beautifully, and that I can feel very comfortable letting her know that I won't be able to be there.

Oh the GLORY of etiquette working like a well-oiled machine!