Monsters

when i was little, i was afraid of the 'shadow/closet' monsters. intellectually, i knew they were imaginary, but it didn't stop me from making sure that the closets were closed before the lights went off (i still do this) and that the hallway light was on every night when i went to bed. oh, and on the nights that the monsters were particularly active, i was sure to be still and silent, so as not to tip them off to my actually being there.

when i got older, i learned about the monsters out there who want to take pieces of you to make themselves feel good; the snotty kids who somewhere along the line learned that putting other folks down makes you feel bigger; the 'grown ups' who thought, i guess, that because you were a little girl, you couldn't say no, and that when you did, it didn't mean anything anyway. i learned about the 'power' monsters, i guess.

older still, and i learned about the 'stranger' monsters; the people who could choose you as the object of their desire or hatred or murderous desire and take your life without thinking twice. fortunately i didn't learn about them first hand, at least not really.

now, older again, with a family, these monsters are everywhere - - on the side of the road waiting for my gentle hearted husband who wants to help folks. in the shops and on the streets near where we live, waiting for my daughter to be alone or just vulnerable.

i'm haunted every day by these monsters - - they don't even wait until dark, and they certainly don't play by the rules. i work hard to keep myself vigilant, educated, informed... and i'm definitely keeping the light on.