in the rough

i was recently told (by a person who knows) that my personality is rough around the edges. it hurt to hear. i've been thinking about it since he said it. truth is, he's right. and while sometimes the truth can really really cut, fact is, truth is truth.

i guess what hurts me most is that my personality used to be a lot smoother around the edges... much more polished... almost sparkly...

i'm trying to determine what in my life has chipped away at the well defined, much coveted (by me) hints at brilliance that i used to be able to claim.

i think maybe that it could be a combination of stones thrown at the edges of my life and the all consuming quest to preserve the remainder that made me too afraid, too preoccupied, and possibly even too complacent to work at refinishing those damaged edges.

no matter, really, how it happened. the truth of the matter is that it has, and the challenge in the moment is to face the fear, re-prioritize, and flat out give a damn enough to grind away the snags