too much to ask

i want to spend my days at home with my daughter.
i am to the point of totally prepared to embrace the June Cleaver lifestyle.

i don't like the commute
i don't like the office
i don't even overly like the work
the salary - i can't complain about.

i wonder all the time how i could force the company to have me on a purely telecommute basis.

i don't need to be here. people don't really notice whether i am or not. i'm fine with it.

sigh...

4 Hours...

my husband has me reading "the 4 hour work week", actually listening to it on CD. it's an alternative to my morning NPR... i'm good with it.

the most valuable lesson so far has been a reminder of a rule that i used to practice avidly:

Focus on improving what you do well, instead of trying to fix what you do not do well.

When i was young - - actually until i became a drone of corporate america, i lived this principle. Not only did i not focus on fixing what I could not do well, i removed it from my repertoire all together.

If someone asked me if i did "x" and I was not good at it, i said "no, i'm no good at it."

AND NO ONE EVER QUESTIONED ME.

Now, i'm spending time trying to figure out how to "develop relationships" with people who really don't care about much except when they can expect their numbers. Why do i need to be developing a relationship with any of these folks? I'm an ANALYST for pete's sake.
No one expects analysts to be good at relationships.
No one expects analysts to have relationships.

Next time someone asks, i think i'm going to say "i'm no good at it."
and see what happens.

eternal

i am attending a wedding and a christening this weekend.
it is very exciting to be sharing in the joyous events of friends and family. celebrating their milestones with them.
pausing to think, my synthetic realization is that neither of the women thought their respective events would happen. certainly, neither of them seemed to have lost hope... but it's fair to say these happinesses took each by surprise.

i have to tell you how vicariously giddy this makes me.
one of my favorite phrases is "hope springs eternal".
i am a ridiculously optimistic person, when it all boils down.

the bummer?
*I* was hoping to get a good 3 or so coats of black nail polish on over the weekend.
still, it's a small price to pay, really...

not so levititious

=======================================
:::UPDATE:::
i owe all of your a collective quarter. i had to call my husband and ask him when he was coming home to have dinner with us. no, it wasn't some obscene hour of 'too-late-to-eat' - i just really wanted to have what we had for dinner, i started it earlier than i usually do, and it was done and making the house smell gorgeous and MT (my husband) still wasn't home yet and - well, you get the picture.
AND - further evidence that the whole effort is worth it? when the baby decided that dessert should be ice cream (we have a delightful ice cream shoppe (yes with an e) about 5 blocks away) my MT duly headed out to garner it. on learning that the shoppe is now closed for the season, he packed up the baby (allowing me some precious/coveted relaxation time) and headed off the the 'local DQ' (about 15 miles away) to STILL bring home the ice cream for dessert.
ah....

=======================================

this is probably the only time you will hear me grouse about my domestic life... at least like this.

my afternoon
drive 1 hour home
collect the child
go to credit union
forgo personal trip to drug store for nail polish remover, as baby is napping
come home
carry in all of my bags, baby's bags, and mail
empty trash can
clean dag-nasty trash can lid (ew)
load slimy gross standing water* dishes into dishwasher
hand wash dishes that CANNOT go into dishwasher
hand wash dirty dishes that can't be forced into already overfull dishwasher
get bulk of dinner into oven
wash hair
start dishwasher
relax briefly until parts two and three of dinner need cooking

i will bet you ALL a collective quarter that within 5 minutes of waking through the door my husband will ask me some variation of "when's dinner?"

oh but he's generous with the flowers and the sparklies and the skull-things!

* i despise the "fill it with water and let it soak: method of pre-cleaning all but the most heinous of dishes. what I hate worse? when folks throw OTHER dishes (namely silverware) into said mank-swamp of precleaning.

Levity

a snippit from last night's conversation:

baby: be very careful, it's very delicated
mama: delicated?
daddy: that's what she said. she's been listening to the president.

Piratically practical

went to Space Pirate to fathom me name...

henceforth i be:

Admiral fin the Boldly Rebellious

the scurvy ratses here in office-worrld (here there indeed be dragons) aren't savvy to the pirate day festivities an' i'm jawwin all on me lonesome.

i reckon that does make me boldly rebellious - - for least sake on this here ship...

hainted holler...

while using television as background noise this weekend, i happened upon this commentary:

"... a place called 'hainted holler' which translated would be 'haunted holler'..."

no.
it's not nice for me to be amused, but i can't always be nice, now, can i?

black-nail the pirate

my fingernails have grown long enough to wear black nail polish without looking more like rotten stumps than elegant fingernails.
i'm not a pirate.
that's my tea mug up there.

so yeah, i have the black polish on - - mostly.
i put on the cheap stuff, in bed, last night
because i couldn't be bothered to go downstairs and get the good stuff
apparently i sleep too hard on my nails
when i woke up this morning they were chipped.
if only i had remover, huh?

i'm ready for the weekend.
you know, mentally.
the house is not at all prepared for the weekend.
i don't think my fridge is either.
i have to go shopping tonight.
and i want to clean and decorate too.

Fair Warning

You have one week to prepare for International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

If you find that you can dress yourself (convincingly) like this - bully! If you find that you DO dress like this - please send me the photo (or a link to it).

Happy pirate day.

O! Bliss...

WHAT a gorgeous day. there is autumn in the air. and as Moose A Moose says... I feel like I'm falling for fall.
when belle and i went for our walk today, i felt like i could have just kept going.

in the meantime, i'm just working on swaps.

home sweet home...

we're back from the Sans Souci Euro Inn in New Buffalo MI.
it was ok... nicer than ok, but i feel somewhat robbed.

the website mentions fisherman's cottages. plural. what they offer is two halves of a duplex.
the website shows photos of a very pretty little lake - - it's mucky/murky.
the nice lady on the phone who set up my reservation said pets were welcome - we found out they only mean dogs (cats, apparently, are not pets - - i shudder to think of what they'd say about the bunny)
and we asked to have dinner reservations made for us - none were. fortunately this wasn't an inconvenience for us... but still.
i'd rate the place a 2 to 3 star joint... and have to add that i don't think it merits it's per night price. sigh.

still - we went to the beach - - the sunny shores of lake Michigan - first for a couple of hours on Saturday - when daddy and daughter waded in up to their shoulders! I collected rocks - and still managed to get my rolled up pants too wet and sandy for comfort. Yesterday we went back, with the cat in a bag (he actually loved it - the bag lain on its side a breeze blowing in and through his fur - - though he didn't like the sand much at all)... we got wet and had a BLAST.

back again and we watched Marie Antoinette. I love this movie. seriously.

well, that's it - - another day at work... four more till the weekend.

Oh the Gratification of it all...

my anniversary gift from my husband. we have matching ones. i cannot wait to register him, train him, and get love-nudges through the days....

and i've reinstated my ball at the office. a while back i decided that a yoga ball (instead of a desk chair) would be beneficial for my posture and a ward against neck/shoulder/back/wrist pain. it worked a charm, i'll have you know (not to mention how wonderfully fun it is to be able to bounce whilst concentrating on a particularly perplexing proposition). shortly thereafter the wicked witch of the west became our new boss, and the ball was banned (for my own protection - they certainly didn't want me taking a fall and cracking my noggin - - on THEIR time). I even offered to sign a waiver stating that i knew the health risks involved in sitting on a surface as unstable as a yoga ball and that i would in no way hold them responsible for any harm that might come to me as a result of such. i explained that the ball had improved my attitude and corrected issues with back pain. they advised me that the company offers on-line counseling for stress and other emotional issues, and that if my back were a serious medical concern, that I could have my doctor prescribe a special chair that they would purchase for me. thing is, fun and self-expression are serious contraband under the purview of the wwotw, and nothing short of a lawsuit would allow me to have a yoga ball as a seat.
anywho - it's been almost 3 years since i moved to my new position - same company. i have an office here, with walls and a door. it's crossed my mind to bring the ball back but, truth be told, i've been afraid of facing the same profound sadness if i were to bring it back and lose it again. seriously folks, this thing rocks my world.
what changed my mind? my husband's recent trip to New York. while there he got a peek into the offices of Google where he noted that several of the folks there were sitting on - yep, you guessed it, yoga balls. that was it. i couldn't stand it any more. last weekend my mom and i went out shopping and, oh the joy of serendipity, they had one on sale for about half the usual price. i bought it, i brought it in, i blew it up (with a hand pump - no lung power like that here), and now it delivers the buoyancy and liberation i had so desperately missed.

not sure what it is about the folks at Google that made me feel like *I* should be equally empowered, and yeah, i still worry about all the kings men coming up here and giving me the "we thought we already told you about this" speech... but for now, my office seating situation is a total ball!

and finally - to end on an up note - - in another hour i'll be out of the office on my way home, to pack our bags for the weekend away. woo hoo!

Fruit, Flowers, and Appliances

my current lolcat fave.

anywho - -

Today is our fourth anniversary. Hallmark says that traditionally I should be expecting fruit and flowers, and that the modern me can look forward to appliances. Traditionally romantic - but i'm a practical girl. Bring on the electro-mechanical goodness!

For my part, I'm "hosting" the get-away weekend. I'd love to tell y'all where we're going, but the thing is, it's a surprise location for my darling husband, who reads me, and I don't want to give it away. Maybe I'll post a review and some photos when we get back.