05 January 2009

slacks

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i prefer trousers, but most often find myself in "pants" - mock-dockers (daren't call them chino's as they're not) or cords. except at home, where my fat ass is ALWAYS cloaked in "lounge pants" which is code for pajama bottoms.

i suspect i may be experiencing some form of depression (you know, that "form" that is technically classified as denial, because depression sounds so serious, and really, i'm mostly only just lazy). i'm fairly certain my husband will read this, shake his head at me, and wonder when my next "hermitage" will set in.

on accounta i'm fat and wholly lacking in motivation. oh sure, i want to be slenderer. but i'm apparently hungry for everything BUT being healthy and lean and firm. (in my mind, appetite, beef, and ripe followed each of the adjectives).

i have 2 resolutions this year... only two. one is a shared blog with my husband, the other is to avoid McDonalds. I should be able to manage to stick to them. I have broken a good deal of bad habits by adopting the persona... as an example, I chose to be a non-smoker, and haven't had a single puff since. While I was pregnant and for the year and half afterwards, I didn't drink. It was part of the person I was. When I was in college I was the girl who didn't wear jeans... not "wouldn't" but "didn't". There's something DEFINITE in the statement that I "don't" that helps me get through it. I'm not sure how to be the girl who "doesn't" over-eat, or eat crap, or drink soda (i was almost her in college too - - i didn't drink any brown soda's back then).

I'm so VERY looking for the way to be the girl who likes to work out (like i used to like situps). I desperately want to be the girl who doesn't eat stupidly. because resolutions for stuff like this don't work for me unless they're personality shifts.

maybe having sassy black hair and a wii fit and being the girl who doesn't patronize the golden arches will work for me.

meanwhile - for the rest of the workday - i have to be the girl who doesn't slack at work.

fin out.